So here I now have internet and my computer working. The techies did not have the correct plug either so they clipped off my Aussie plug and replaced it with one for Canada. It works fine though the plugectomy seemed a little drastic! No charge at least and they even tossed in a 6 volt trani for the speaker system. Resourceful, eh?

I was wakeful last night. I got a bit chilled returning from the hot tub in the -12C temps. Then I kept waking up to see if it was time to get up. I went over for breakfast after talking myself out of going swimming which was a close call, too.

Then found my wonderful ladies from the artist group ‘Articulation’ again and chatted through breakfast. They are working in the Leighton Studio where today I was invited to visit and see their work! A privilege for sure! It turns out that two of the other artists are blogging too. I will have to compare. These ladies heard that I am looking out for things to make art out of these few weeks. They had been given a huge bag of fantastic bits and pieces by a quilters group. After taking what they could use, they gave me the rest….lace, glittery cloth, feathers, rabbit fur, angel wings, velvet, iridescent fabric, and much more. I am so taken with these treasures; I may not be able to leave it here after all.

I had a great day! I have been finding out where the dumpsters so tomorrow I can gather the bits I saw to work with as recycled raw materials. I saw a mound of discarded brass lamps, an old venetian blind, lots of wood off-cuts, office paper, ceramic bases, buckets and more. I will retrace my steps to collect and then it will be picked up with the site’s van and tugged up to the third floor.

Tomorrow should be the day I start working in my studio then. I can’t wait!

I had been quite discouraged about not being accepted into the Centre’s program when I first applied but I discovered that many others have been disappointed for years. The selection process is a little undecipherable it seems. At least we are here now!

In an effort to reapproach life in a fully spiritual manner, I have been doing some reading in Thomas Merton’s Book of Hours. I found a thought that stopped me short….I realized that I don’t think I completely trust God with my life at this point in time. I think that I am suspicious that I will get hurt again and somehow by looking out for myself, I can do a better job of it. Don’t anyone carelessly coax me out of this thought – as absurd as it may seem. I am wrestling here.

My overall plan here is to not plan my art. This is difficult for me as I am usually too purposeful in my art. Leaving with a completed product would be my usual expectation. Instead, I want to play with the process of creating and maybe regain my first love of art in this way. I do not want to load myself down with ‘things’ to cart and store! ‘All made in Banff, stays in Banff’…. Says this sticker was found in the drawer in my studio here…how appropriate. I have enough stored art! The title I have in mind is ‘All Things Temporary’. The open studio will be my continuing exhibition. No more thinking it through….

You might think I am being amusing here but the answer to this witticism is of very real concern for me. Once upon a time I thought that if I was a really good artist and worked diligently day and night, I would be rewarded with fame or fortune or quite possibly, both. But I was wrong! So wrong.

Neither ‘talent’ nor ‘hard work’ in themselves produce the necessary kudos or shall I say, validation needed for becoming an artist. At least, one who considers oneself ‘viable’. I now think the main quality needed is simply the ability to NOT know when to say ‘Enough of this foolhardy life’ and then quit.

I have worked my alleged 10,000 hours required to become a genius in my area

I have spared no faithfulness to the practice of art – apart from not sleeping with the right people. I have kept up with contemporary art practices – traveling to Documenta 12 in Kassel, Germany, The International Melbourne Arts Festival, Sydney’s Primavera 2008, Canberra’s exhibition by Bill Viola and others. I have up-graded my academics – MFA from Monash University in 2002 and a creative PhD from Victoria University in 2007; articles to peer assessed journals, international speaking engagements and more. I work in the latest media – digital production and installation with maximum material application, having once been solely a watercolourist. Still, have I made it as an artist?

Having completed my PhD with flying colours, I decided to take my ten years of art production ‘out for a spin’ in 2006. I was so successful at applying for the best in prizes and awards and grants that I received a rejection letter at least once or twice a week, sometimes on the same day, until Christmas. Within a few months, I was completely disheartened – the equivalent of an artistic grease spot. Where was the reward for believing in all I did for art? It was only vapor.

I wanted to give up. I wished for any excuse to stop arting. I asked the heavens, ‘Why am I doing this?

And another day goes by…

I always get a buzz when I’ve finished an art project.

So many people get a buzz from creating an art piece together that is not just ‘community art’ but strays into the area of ‘fine art’ and all the respect that caliber of art brings.

This project saw me creatively guide the staff and friends of MacKillop Family Services to create an art mural entitled “Journey”.

And now the fun part, we’re having a launch of this mural at Mackillop Family Services on 118 Commercial Road Footscray on Wednesday 26th November.

Flossie.