3:28 PM me: hiya its meeeeee!

Tom: Heloo.

3:29 PM I am not letting Patience talk to you right now.

So how was your day?

3:30 PM me: Great! I finished and exhibition!

Tom: WOW! Photos???

me: yesseresiree

3:31 PM Tom: So tell me about it.

3:33 PM me: I have just sent you photos!

I have just sent you photos!

well they are beeing sent…I might have sent too many…

3:34 PM Tom: I will await their arrival.

While we wait…so tell me.

Pics have arrived.

3:35 PM me: wellll….I invited a collegue into my studio (Sandra Hawkins) and she said…looks like your work here is finished your exhibition is complete!

call it ‘Potential’

So I said ok. I like it too

3:36 PM That is it. Now Week 1 is complete and I have the first exhibition of three…and nothing more to do unless I want too! How’s that!

Tom: Great work!

3:37 PM me: Isn’t it! Are you looking at the photos?

Tom: I am…would appreciate some commentary.

3:40 PM me: okay…I gathered the bits from the dumpsters and other local sources. Then sorted the bits as data. Now, anything I do with them reduces their potential because they become only one of the many possibilities they offer and not any of the others.

3:41 PM Tom: Very clever and insightful…

this could be a new genre…

bag-lady art.

3:42 PM me: So, the work can only become less creative than it is now when it is unused and waiting for its next role….does this make sense?

Tom: Yes, it does…

which is frightening…

but then I lived with your twisted and creative mind for over 34 years now.

Will you be bringing the artwork home?

3:43 PM me: …funny you should ask…but no…except for the beeeautiful materials…which I love and can reuse and reconfigure

3:44 PM Tom: I know how your mind works…and I wouldn’t be surprised to see a container arrive on our doorstep full of this stuff.

3:45 PM me: believe me ..it won’t happen…I have gone a new direction and I know that I can make art out of anything

Tom: Great because we have so much material here for you to work with… 3:46

3:47 PM me: And you have to hear the next best thing…..

Tom: You’re coming home early?

3:48 PM Some one is going to buy the work?

You have been offered a job as artist in residence at an obscene salary?

me: I approached the head of programs in music today to outline the fact that I wish to collaborate with a composer for a final exhibition…tonight I was introduced to Darren (twenty something).

Tom: You won the lottery in Canada?

3:49 PM me: explained my request that music/sound be made out of the dumpster bits that I will make visual art from..in the studio..and he agreed….

3:50 PM Tom: PDQ Bach…Fugue for a bicycle pump.

3:51 PM me: and is very excited about the project and he himself makes notational music out of old Playschool instruments and player pianos, etc and finds The Centre can be a little restricting so…..looks forward to working with me and I with him’

We meet on Monday to record bits

Tom: This place sounds better and better.

3:52 PM me: AND the concert I went to tonight had a celletto – a mechanical version of a cello – it looks like a extendable lamp stand – who plays improve – performer which is a synthesized cello and he said he would do it tooo if wanted. My VA department said this was a very unusual request….hooray! Some Music officials thought – even without asking anyone – they might not be able to help me out. Isn’t that strange on a campus with these arts literally next door to each other?
3:53 PM Tom: Creativity and vision have always been your strength.

The difficulty comes in that you are usually out there pushing boundaries before anyone else gets there.

Banff is once more proof of your ability as an artist and visionary.

3:54 PM Go for it!

me: Thanks!!!

I am really happy with this! Its fun!

3:55 PM And the other thing is today I regained ground spiritually

Tom: How so?

3:56 PM me: I know that you have been praying for me….

Well I took along this Thomas Merton Book of Hours and today it made an impact…

3:57 PM Tom: Yes….in what way?

3:58 PM me: I read..

3:59 PM Why should want to be rich when You were poor?

4:00 PM Why should I desire to be famous and powerful?

4:01 PM Why should I cherish in my heart a hope that devours me- when such a hope, doomed to frustration, is nothing but despair?

4:02 PM My hope is in the eye that never has seen. Therefore let me not trust in visible rewards.

4:03 PM My hope is in what the heart cannot feel. Therefore let me not trust in the feelings of my heart.

My hope is in what the hand has never touched. Do not let me trust what I can grasp between my fingers.

4:04 PM Death will loosen my grasp and my vain hope will be gone.

Tom: These are Merton’s words…now your insights…

4:05 PM me: That describes me.

4:06 PM I want, I need, I wish, I desire…and it is not in my power but makes me miserable……….so I need to give up the fight and just love and be and allow God the control he has anyway

4:07 PM I think that is it…I am crying as I realize this but it is a load off my mind

4:08 PM Tom: Good insight.

4:10 PM me: I plan a new performance…I will stand in front of the people coming in to eat with a scarf over my head wearing a sign that says ‘Failed Artist’

4:11 PM then another day I will wear a sign…’Great Artist’ then another day ‘Okay Artist’ I feel I need to accept that this is who I am – all of these- by someone’s definition and it is still ok

Tom: Should be an intriguing performance piece.

4:12 PM me: yes….still I am crying over my loss of a dream, a plan for myself…

4:14 PM Tom: Recognition that you are not in control is a big thing.

Tears are to be expected.

As is sense of loss…

as well as sense of relief…

4:15 PM and self-acceptance.

4:16 PM me: yes

4:17 PM Tom: Now…like the time in Banff…just let things unfold and see where it takes you.

me: ok

4:19 PM Tom: It will be interesting to see how this continues to unfold while you are there…

and what you will bring back with you.

4:20 PM me: Well I expect it will be digital only at least….apart from the material scraps….TEEHEE

4:21 PM Tom: The transient nature of your art there is a physical reinforcement of what Merton is saying.

Ultimately the art is not something that can be held on to.

4:23 PM me: That is correct…I am making a statement to myself by leaving it all behind.

4:24 PM Tom: OK.

Getting enough to eat?

All this thinking and creativity will make you hungry.

4:25 PM me: tooo much to eat

4:26 PM I am eating all the things that I don’t get at home and are really bad for me I collect my dessert first – like Aunt Nora did

4:27 PM Tom: That could explain the burst of creativity and insight and the sense of joy and fulfillment…food…glorious food.

me: then I have bacon everyday. Then I eat shrimp stir fry and chicken schnitzel and fesh bread…we are treated like royalty for 6-7 $ a meal

4:28 PM Tom: Good for you.

What is that line of the Jewish mama…

Eat…eat! Is good for you!

I take it you are enjoying the opportunity of being a community of artist as well.

4:35 PM me: Well…I have been accepted by the embroidery group and the Liminal Screen Residency group…word is out that I am a PhD in Sculpture so I can sneak into their sessions at times and they think I make good comments…

4:39 PM me: yes it is fun being like minded instead of tolerated

4:40 PM Tom: So your days are full…your evenings pleasurable.

The company is inspiring.

The food is delicious and very filling and plenty of it.

The scenery great.

Your exhibition #1 is complete.

4:41 PM You have gained significant spiritual insights.

You have organized some collaborative work that will be ground-breaking there.

It all sounds just perfect.

4:43 PM Tom: OK……I will hand you over to Patchie now…as I have to go out and fulfill the somewhat prosaic task of bringing in the laundry before it gets wet from the rain.

Love you much…

glad to hear it all going well.

4:44 PM me: thanks I love you…thanks for everything

Chris Chafe