Category Archives: Reflecting

Briefly wrapping up.

Hunting and Gathering…isn’t this a woman’s job?? But David, work/study artist helped me with the trolley, the lift and up the winding staircases. The studio is full of hand picked stuff….I especially like the dozens of discarded brass lamps, rescued from the snow bank.

I want to tell about David…He will be tying his art – his canoe – to his car roof as he does not have another place to store it; plus it is a conversation starter he found. I admire his candor and sense of fun!

Met ReBecca Paterson from the Maritimes, too.

The Plan.

So here I now have internet and my computer working. The techies did not have the correct plug either so they clipped off my Aussie plug and replaced it with one for Canada. It works fine though the plugectomy seemed a little drastic! No charge at least and they even tossed in a 6 volt trani for the speaker system. Resourceful, eh?

I was wakeful last night. I got a bit chilled returning from the hot tub in the -12C temps. Then I kept waking up to see if it was time to get up. I went over for breakfast after talking myself out of going swimming which was a close call, too.

Then found my wonderful ladies from the artist group ‘Articulation’ again and chatted through breakfast. They are working in the Leighton Studio where today I was invited to visit and see their work! A privilege for sure! It turns out that two of the other artists are blogging too. I will have to compare. These ladies heard that I am looking out for things to make art out of these few weeks. They had been given a huge bag of fantastic bits and pieces by a quilters group. After taking what they could use, they gave me the rest….lace, glittery cloth, feathers, rabbit fur, angel wings, velvet, iridescent fabric, and much more. I am so taken with these treasures; I may not be able to leave it here after all.

I had a great day! I have been finding out where the dumpsters so tomorrow I can gather the bits I saw to work with as recycled raw materials. I saw a mound of discarded brass lamps, an old venetian blind, lots of wood off-cuts, office paper, ceramic bases, buckets and more. I will retrace my steps to collect and then it will be picked up with the site’s van and tugged up to the third floor.

Tomorrow should be the day I start working in my studio then. I can’t wait!

I had been quite discouraged about not being accepted into the Centre’s program when I first applied but I discovered that many others have been disappointed for years. The selection process is a little undecipherable it seems. At least we are here now!

In an effort to reapproach life in a fully spiritual manner, I have been doing some reading in Thomas Merton’s Book of Hours. I found a thought that stopped me short….I realized that I don’t think I completely trust God with my life at this point in time. I think that I am suspicious that I will get hurt again and somehow by looking out for myself, I can do a better job of it. Don’t anyone carelessly coax me out of this thought – as absurd as it may seem. I am wrestling here.

My overall plan here is to not plan my art. This is difficult for me as I am usually too purposeful in my art. Leaving with a completed product would be my usual expectation. Instead, I want to play with the process of creating and maybe regain my first love of art in this way. I do not want to load myself down with ‘things’ to cart and store! ‘All made in Banff, stays in Banff’…. Says this sticker was found in the drawer in my studio here…how appropriate. I have enough stored art! The title I have in mind is ‘All Things Temporary’. The open studio will be my continuing exhibition. No more thinking it through….

Banff Continues… or at least starts.

Please note that this entry may cut off at any time since I am on the library’s timed internet connection. My own laptop is not set up yet as the useless plugs I purchased in Australia have only two holes for the three prongs that my equipment has. I think IT can help me out, for a fee….

I woke up about noon today which was a relief after being up for so long yesterday. I am just now (8pm) feeling weary and think I should give myself the rest of the day off. I dressed in my best jeans and put on makeup in an attempt to make a good impression on all the new people I would be meeting today. I did not know a soul here. It was very peculiar to emerge knowing this. I would rather have gone home. Then I started to meet them…the artists! Now I feel like I have kindred spirits! There was Sandra, Beverly, Jo Jo, Wendy, Donna, Lesley, Ingrid , Gloria, Catherine, Matt and more. There were very generous artists! In no time we were sharing stories, heartaches, dreams, and plans.  I was surrounded by people of my ilk – you know, artists-  with no explanation needed about what I am doing and why. But they did want to know more about me…I am delighted to be here now. I am only regretting that I have just three weeks to take it all in. I am hungry for experiences and to have output.

This will be fun.

Too bad I have to sleep at times.

Too bad I will want to swim and go for walks too.

All I want to do is have fun playing in my grand, empty studio. I will go over tonight – but no, that would be a bad idea.

So the library is closing now and instead, I will slip over – literally- very likely in all this snow – to the pool’s hot tub for the final relax of the day.

Self-Directed Artist’s Winter Residency 2009

This has been a very, very long day as I travelled directly from Wollongong, New South Wales, Australia to Banff, Canada. I went by train for two hours, then by plane for 12 hours to LAX. I called my sister there but ran out of coinage. I left LA for Seattle in a two and one half hour flight. The airport was overflowing with people as the snow storms in Canada delayed the north bound travel. As it was, my plane left the airport appropriately sprayed with de-icer, an hour late to fly to Calgary – one and one half hours. Arriving late into Calgary – where there was a Tim Horton’s donut shop! Hooray! – I had missed my connecting bus to Banff. It was no problem as I went with the next one – two hours on the road. I arrived, obstensively, not long after I left Australia; at least is was the same day.

So, a really great trip and so, completely without intrigue. As such, it seems entirely without note that in this particular time space, I changed hours, days, dates, hemispheres, seasons, geography, countries – twice, locality, traffic flow and more- with my baggage in tow – all at a comfortable pace with nothing especially noteworthy to report. How blasé is that? It is indeed a small world. I even retraced my steps in one moment with a phone call to my husband back home. What an amazing time to live…

Now I am here at The Banff Centre, Alberta, Canada (http://www.banffcentre.ca/about/), for three (3) weeks to do….to do….something profound – or not, in my art practice.

Upon arrival in Canada I had a strange feeling of being home, though not quite. It is after all, western Canada. It was not really seeing the Canadian flag again or the soft spoken accents -what accents?- but, it was the winter’s squeaky snow, the muddy snow blocks hanging to the underside of the cars, the written text used on the road signs, the French language, the flooding raging melting river, the crisp air that made it hurt to breathe, the clean and cozy bathrooms, the civilized heated rooms, the weather sealed entries, the silly hats everyone wears, the snow blowers, everything, every little thing I remember and wanted to share with Tom, as he remembers too. Everything familiar to me and my senses, known in an instant yet totally unknown to my children. How strange. I have lived away from Canada for thirty-eight years. And yet, it was as if only yesterday. I am totally stretched between hemispheres and the decades. It will always be.

Remind me…if ART is the answer, what is the question?

You might think I am being amusing here but the answer to this witticism is of very real concern for me. Once upon a time I thought that if I was a really good artist and worked diligently day and night, I would be rewarded with fame or fortune or quite possibly, both. But I was wrong! So wrong.

Neither ‘talent’ nor ‘hard work’ in themselves produce the necessary kudos or shall I say, validation needed for becoming an artist. At least, one who considers oneself ‘viable’. I now think the main quality needed is simply the ability to NOT know when to say ‘Enough of this foolhardy life’ and then quit.

I have worked my alleged 10,000 hours required to become a genius in my area

I have spared no faithfulness to the practice of art – apart from not sleeping with the right people. I have kept up with contemporary art practices – traveling to Documenta 12 in Kassel, Germany, The International Melbourne Arts Festival, Sydney’s Primavera 2008, Canberra’s exhibition by Bill Viola and others. I have up-graded my academics – MFA from Monash University in 2002 and a creative PhD from Victoria University in 2007; articles to peer assessed journals, international speaking engagements and more. I work in the latest media – digital production and installation with maximum material application, having once been solely a watercolourist. Still, have I made it as an artist?

Having completed my PhD with flying colours, I decided to take my ten years of art production ‘out for a spin’ in 2006. I was so successful at applying for the best in prizes and awards and grants that I received a rejection letter at least once or twice a week, sometimes on the same day, until Christmas. Within a few months, I was completely disheartened – the equivalent of an artistic grease spot. Where was the reward for believing in all I did for art? It was only vapor.

I wanted to give up. I wished for any excuse to stop arting. I asked the heavens, ‘Why am I doing this?

And another day goes by…